small kid...BIG PLANS!!!

You know those days...the ones where you wake up feeling like you just wet your pants???? Then you actually get relieved because you realize that you have only been peed on by the miniture invader snoozing next to you???  NO???  You do NOT know what it is like to have a tiny dictator laying next to you....kicking you and shoving you in his almost perfect scheme to take over your bed...the final frontier.  Really??  Hmmmm....lucky you.  Well in "MY" bed it is a nighly battle for supreme rule and sadly I am NOT winning the war.

I go to bed with a positive attitude in hopes that THIS will be the night.  But my hopes are soon dashed and I find myself retreating to the border lands....you know that 6 inches of space RIGHT next to edge...the space where you are forced to sleep with one leg on the ground to keep the rest of your body from falling into the ocean....I mean floor. 

Now don't get me wrong, we have had a a couple of nights of success (in 2 years)...but I think that is all part of his plan.  He lets me get my hopes up, only to dash them wide open again.  For example, this weekend he slept the entire night in his bed for the first time in A YEAR!!!  It was marvelous.  I actually woke up slightly frightened when I realized I had slept for 6 straight hours...I had forgotten what that felt like.  BUT then he re-grouped and doubled his attack. 

He has gotten more sneaky and waits until the wee hours when my defenses are down.  Sometime between 1 and 2 in the morning he sneaks silently into my room.  Then he lifts the covers at the bottom of the bed (this is not his first rodeo) and slithers his tiny little body up until he is resting quietly between his two slumbering parents.  Then he goes quickly to sleep.  By the time I realize what has happened...it is too late.   He is sleeping comfortably on my pillow and I am cuddling at the end of the bed with the cat.  Tricky!!!

Now you are probably wondering how I can let this happen...he is just a small child???  That is true.  He is a child.  He is small.  But his PLANS are big.  And I should not have to warn you of other small people with BIG plan.  I am not going to name any names....but

and

come to mind.  Just sayin'!!!

Right now he is pretending to watch Fresh Beat Band...but I KNOW he is silently plotting tonights attack.  I can see it in his eyes.  Or maybe he is secretly planning to expand his empire...to the shower perhaps....