Post-Op---Day 1

 Well...remember that WORSE I was talking about.  YEP --that happened AFTER the hand off, after the 6 hours of waiting, and AFTER seeing that sweet little shaved head laying in the BIG ole hospital bed.  It also came a little bit AFTER the initial shock of seeing my baby with a TOTALLY different head and face.  I am going to skip that part though because I really cannot put into words what it feels like to RE-meet your baby's face for the first time.  I WILL say that I have checked his leg for his birthmark MORE THAN ONCE just to make sure I was holding the right baby. 

 But besides all of that...there was the time we spent in the ICU.  As a parent you NEVER want to see your baby sad....YOU JUST DON'T!!!  And even KNOWING that he was going to cry was not enough to prepare me for watching him be in pain.  I HATE THAT!!  He was SUPER un-happy for the first few hours in the ICU.  He could not get comfortable and did NOT want to lay in his crib.  I KNEW the day that  he learned to say MAMA was a BAD day for me because from the time he woke up he just wanted his MAMA!!  After trying to calm him, and comfort him, and get him comfortable, the nurses finally decided to put him on a morphine drip and put him in my arms.  Really they had no choice because my little Ethan man stood up and attempted to scale the side of his crib screaming for his MAMA!!!  He was NOT taking NO for an answer!!!
As scary as it was to hold that newly formed head, it REALLY was the only thing I wanted too (except maybe a morphine drip of my own).  He INSTANTLY fell asleep and snoozed on or off for HOURS.  The bad part...it was 4 am when I got him in my arms....and he was NOT going anywhere.  Anytime he thought they were going to come and get him he GRABBED a hold of me and would NOT let go.  SOOO I spent over 9 hours in the uncomfortable chair.    My legs were numb, my butt was SORE, and eventually I really needed to go to the bathroom.  BUT I was NOT moving that sleeping baby!!!  Then his IV leaked on me and soaked my pants through---pretty much looked like I peed my pants.  BUT even then I was NOT going to move that sleeping baby:)  He could still open his eyes--just to slits---right before we transferred.  His dad came over to talk to him and he sat up, put his arms out, and gave his daddy a big hug.  THEN he quickly latched back onto my neck.  But it was a for sure sign that things were looking up and he was acting more like himself. 
The only thing that got us to seperate was a trip through the hospital to the surgical floor---he road in his crib and I limped behind.  THE WORST WAS OVER and we had made it through---TOGETHER!!!